Sad Brownies

Unfortunately we lost a legend in our lives. Gerard Joseph Graham. It was a pleasure to know him and at this sad time I find relief in knowing he has been reunited with his soulmate. RIP. 27/02/13.

So I have been surrounded by sadness, an all too familiar feeling. I don’t know how to give comfort, I don’t know how to differentiate the feelings I have from a previous loss to this one. So I do what I do best and bake.

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This is Betty Crocker’s boxed chewy chocolate brownie mix. It asks for 100ml of vegetable oil, 35ml of water and 1 egg.
I have a lightly greased pan, the only suitable thing I could find and preheat the oven to 160 as its fan assisted.

The mixture is quite easy to work with so I spread it out roughly on to the tray like so.

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25 minutes later and we have a lot of brownies, I wasn’t expecting it to spread. I’ve never made brownies before so I think next time I won’t flatten the mixture out on the tray so much.

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Top Secret James Bond Stuff

It’s a bit difficult for me to write about what I have planned for Valentines as Alex gets email updates when I post a blog.

Trust this month to be the tightest month. London, Valentines Day and Mom’s Birthday (then it will be Mother’s Day soon)..

I am keen to do Valentine crafts this year although I have seen a present I’m going to get. I’ve never been fond of Valentines as I never saw the point in it but I am excited for this years.

I’ve been googling and researching Valentines crafts and seeing what other people have created for their beloved. There are some amazingly talented people out there and if I could show you what I’ve seen I would but I’m planning on doing it myself.

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I also found this on the calendar, it’s no surprise who wrote it; it’s where I get my subtle hints from. I’m wondering what I could get mom for her birthday too.

For someone who is in constant pain all they wish for is relief. How can I provide relief? There are products I can buy but they are only effective for a short period so how do I win? How do I provide comfort? I could make her something but what? This is where I have a creative block because what could I provide of use?

When dad died I bought her a book to fill in so that in time I would feel as though I knew everything and hadn’t missed out or would have regrets like I did. Whether she fills it in or not is up to her, I know she will write it in when she has something to say or answer.

But back to Valentines,

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I have already bought the card which I think sums up how I feel and as I went through sites I saw more cards that I felt were more appropriate or reminded me of past conversations and memories and I just thought, this boy is going to end up with a dozen cards telling him how I feel about it.

Valentines is going to be tight for the both of us but we have agreed we will go and see the new Die Hard film and I’m happy with that. In the aftermath, I always feel bad and guilty when I’m bought stuff, I feel the need to reciprocate and go over the top. So a film and some cuddles is just perfect, it is simply us.

I also had some feedback from the Red Velvet cake, I haven’t had any of it and left it over at Alex’s but it was apparently very tasty and they loved the look of it and I needn’t have worried. It wasn’t as red as I liked or how the box portrays it but so long as it tasted nice and didn’t upset anyone’s tummys I’m happy.

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London Scrap

I’ve just come back from a weekend in London with Alex. It was amazing, I’ve never met someone as truly incredible as him and he treats me so well.

We went to the Aquarium and saw some Nemo and the gang. We also saw a penguin who was showing off a bit, I missed his moment with the camera! I’ve included some of the pictures and I’ve kept everything to update my scrapbook.

I am happy with this memory. It’s one weekend I will never forget.

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So here is the updated pictures from the scrapbook, I haven’t finished it because we used the camera later on in the evening of our first full day when we went to the wax museum and then when we went on the London eye. The pictures from the aquarium and of the hotel are from my phone.

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Keep scrapping xox

Red velvet if you please

I was asked to do a birthday cake for the boy’s godmother. Of course I was delighted, got to work researching ideas. She is quite girly woman so I immediately thought pink but because I wanted a bit of sophistication I thought white chocolate cake.

I googled through some recipes and the one that won it for me is Gregg Wallace white chocolate gateaux which is found on the chocolate brand “Divine”

This is a picture of what the cake should look like:

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Unfortunately I didn’t manage to make this cake as I left home in a rush so I thought I would stick to an old faithful friend of mine, Betty Crocker.

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It didn’t look red but it smelt very chocolatey. I made the recipe by the instructions and placed in the over for 30 minutes.

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I removed from the oven and left to cool. I don’t know if I had the oven on the wrong temperature, if I removed it too quickly or it was just bad luck but the cake came out very soft and it was really fragile. I thought it was gonna break in my hands.

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I’m not gonna lie, I panicked what was I gonna do? I was at the boys so wasn’t sure how long it would take me to walk down the shop but thankfully I still had some ingredients left over to make a sponge.
When making the sponge it looked like a soft batter after mixing and I poured about 5-6 spoonfuls into two sandwich tins and placed in the oven for 30 minutes. Now when this cake came out, it looked good but I couldn’t place the smell. It wasn’t a burning smell, it just didn’t smell like cake. I trimmed the tops of the cake, had a cheeky nibble and it tasted fine but the smell made me uneasy.

Why is it when I want something to go perfect, it doesn’t. I let these cakes cool, and decided to merge the cakes together. So it went, red, white, red, white. I put some icing over it finely and the red velvet cake did crumble a little. I had already made hearts and fiddling with the sugar dough I ended up creating something, looking at this something I immediately thought of the Queen of Hearts ❤

So here is my imperfect, very happy unbirthday cake! Please be nice 🙂

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Quadrophenia

I am a big massive fan of The Who and by luck, their film “Quadrophenia” has come on the television tonight and I haven’t even missed a second.

I would love to make a cake based on this era but I don’t think it would be appreciated by the people I choose to give my slices too.

Does anyone else appreciate this era? I googled The Who cakes for the images and came across this little beauty even though it technically doesn’t have anything to do with “The Who”

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The Great British Bake Off

Well I did it. I didn’t want to although I’m quite giddy that I did but I have applied for the tv programme, The Great British Bake Off I know it’s probably never going to happen, it would be fantastic if it did but even just filling out the application was an experience in itself.

But this is one day, I am never going to forget.

Dreams

Since my dad passed away I’ve had the strangest dreams. None that I can ever remember or I confuse them with past dreams, but it got me thinking of my dreams and what of them?

I dream of a world where there is no pain and suffering;
I dream that instead of an old bag and cat lady, I can raise owls.

I find myself daydreaming of my own shop and in my dream world, each party member has a task.

Mom – she is an an inspiring woman, if not a little cranky sometimes. She does not deserve the pain she receives. She would be in charge. A fine head on her shoulders, she would rule the roost.

Nan and Aunt Sam – would be fighting in the kitchen whilst doing the washing up. Fighting because Sam would feed the stray cats with my leftovers therefore resulting in a lot of cats. Sam fighting back because nan is nagging her.

Mrs C – she is an extraordinary woman who can create magic from her fingertips. She would be part business woman/event organiser/chief costume maker

Pete – he would be Mrs C’s right hand (wo)man. He would flurry through my shop and bring with it a sparkle of excitement.

Ana – she would sit in the corner, feet up, cup of tea and book in lap and her family would be curled up under her feet. If it was a cold winter, she would be sat in front of the fire, singing to herself and watching the world go by.

Cahill – he would be the decorator. Creativity is second nature to him and creating something spectacular and unique flows from his fingertips. He is an artist.

Isla – she would be our queen and taste monster. Cara would be drooling, crawling and causing mischief.

Laura – now she would have a section of the shop where she could sell her knitted garments as she helps write nan’s autobiography.

Mrs G – now she would combine her soup making with Pete’s soup making and would be the nice side to my shop. (Everyone else being naughtier!)

Poppa G – my finance man, a remarkable man and a man who pulls a lot of funny faces.

Alex – he would be the one who keeps us all together. His loyalty, his attitude and his ability to look at things from an outside perspective. He would be the calm after the storm and of course stud engineer top security man and all round safe keeper.

Me – I guess I would bake as I watch this little family of mine intermingle on a daily basis and smile as I know, deep down, if it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t dream at all.

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