A time to reflect

It seems ever so weird to be writing this blog out now when I should have started it before but as I became more obsessed with each hobby, (I went on to sketching and even attempted oil painting), the worst happened.

My brave dad died of Cancer on 1st November 2012. We tried to be as close as we could and unfortunately for me, I wasn’t there in his final moments which are a regret I will always have.
I cannot explain any of the emotions that I went through because I am still in shock it happened. I can still wake up and imagine that he is still alive but at the same time, hear him in my head.

I pushed it all away, the sketching that had been encouraged of me, the baking that I appeared to be so good at and will mention in a later post and the sewing – the sewing kits I gave to my sister for her Christmas tree.

I didn’t sleep. I found myself up every night crying for what I could have had, what I could have done, every change I could have made, every regret I had, every feeling of guilt, did I do enough, the questions swam round my head like an illness and often in these times I admit taking to my sketchpad.

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I have a fondness for the brand Gorjuss and practicing the perfection on each doll would keep me going for hours. I also managed to sketch a picture of my little sister and my niece that I was quite impressed with.

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